Rain barrels, flower pots, and wildness

Some weeks ago, members of the Motorcycle Gang discovered that the top of the rain barrel next to my studio door has a screen over it and therefore is a place to curl up in without falling into the barrel. An added benefit is that the barrel offers an excellent view into the studio. ZoZo and Felicity have since taken advantage of this perch. I’ve become diligent about testing the tautness of the screen. A cat fallen into the barrel would likely drown. It is the sort of image that can get my mind into a panic.

A while back, I watched Felicity race across the street in front of a fast-moving car. They all cross the street frequently. I don’t know what they do there, but I see a cat pathway through a fence and around a neighbor’s house. Crossing the street is part of the path.

I determined early on in my relationship with these cats that I would refrain from interfering with their wildness as much as I am up to. I had just re-read Clarissa Pinkola Estes’ “Women Who Run With Wolves.” She writes, “We lose our illusions when we take the risk to meet the aspect of our nature that is truly wild....” She celebrates the feral in us. Like me, she considers the civilized life suspect and lacking in vigor.

In the curiosity of rediscovering my own wild nature, I’ve loosened my attempt to control the rhythm of my days. I’m more willing to see the should-thinking that arises around even the smallest of things that appears on my mental To Do List. I surmise that trusting life leads to trusting needs will be taken care of, and that in the increased trusting there is the miracle of needs being taken care of more easily. It’s tricky ground because the mind can so easily go to fundamentalist thinking about faith, sin, redemption, etc.

I often think these cats are leading me back home. I had thought to plant some flowers in the flower pots. Because of the drought, we are more restricted in our watering. Soon we will be admonished to only water trees and to let the rest go. But saved shower water and dish water is sufficient for a few flower pots. It seems, however, that this will drop from my list, or at least half will drop. The cats probably like the cool packed earth of the pots, and perhaps they like the slight elevation, so they plant themselves in pots daily.

I do enjoy flowers, but there are other ways to have them, including buying them from a local farmer. One less thing on the To Do List. One more way to respond to life instead trying to make it happen.